Who is he ? Just like the harassed, it can be risky to think that there is a typical stalker profile ...
It is nevertheless agreed that the violent child stalker will find in a particular person, a certain fault that will allow him to hang on and to establish his harassment. This is a personality, not necessarily powerful, but needs to be admired and feared.
Being violent at school
The idea is to define as an enemy the one who makes a remarkable difference by all the others. Thus identified, the group, or the child who has authority, allows it to become the target of verbal or physical attacks. He makes it a point of honor to enforce this balance of power by the one who experiences the violence and by reaction, by the other members of their community, in this case the other students.
This is the introduction of a new social rule that can be found in "wild horde" type groups. This manifests a lack of understanding and adherence to the social rules of the school, and behind, of the republic. This leads to a climate of oppression and insecurity. Anglo-Saxons call the school bullying.
Signs to alert
Just like the child-victim, a violent child or stalker will not necessarily manifest it at home. We must be vigilant. The clues are more or less the same as for children who experience violence.
Any change in behavior must be taken into account. In the same way, we must not let slip obvious signs like academic results that make the roller coaster. A great aggression or conversely an unexplained docility, a little too many punishments, recurring words in the notebook of correspondence ... are all factors that should not leave the parents indifferent.
Violent child and his gang
In addition, things get complicated, because in the harasser / harassed relationship, there is a third element that is the public. Without his "court", the stalker will not take any "pleasure" to act.
It is because the stalker needs his action to be recognized that he surrounds himself with a gang. All the elements that make up this band are not necessarily fond of violence, or even reject it if they could, but do not dare to be noticed for fear of going from the comfortable status of accomplice to that of victim. One must not imagine that because the child is himself in a position of strength, in a group, for example, that he has not necessarily integrated the serious dimension of his act. This is where the behavior is a real alarm.
The precautions and solutions to be put in place are basic, since this is largely a matter of parental education for children. Easy to say ... but in practice, more difficult to achieve!
Solutions against a violent child at school
It is necessary to transmit to his child the importance of the respect of others, while incarnating with finesse a model having enough personality not to be overwhelmed by the others. It's difficult, but the role of parents has never been a sinecure. Of course, parental action is not the guarantee of children going straight!
Temperament, socio-cultural background, friends, dating, age, some form of sensitivity, etc. are all factors that can tip the child to one side or the other (and can become violent).
Different other solutions
It can be a good thing to use materials like books or comics, which provide codes of conduct and simple rules to integrate and follow. Television, although having a pejorative image, can be used as a media provided that the messages conveyed are in line with the education given to your children.
If the child has already done so, he must understand that the consequences are very unfortunate and that they can not go unpunished. Psychological monitoring is essential to channel the violence and make it disappear gradually. The sooner the child is taken in hand, the more the results will be convincing.
In cases of repentance, children ask to see their victim in order to apologize. This requires being aware of what he has felt to the other and to bear the responsibility. The "strong" can then help the "weak" and be valued by adults in this new mission. If both parties are willing, it is often one of the best therapies with the best results.
Here is the approach (psychological and a little theoretical, perhaps) of the solutions to put in place. In practice, these solutions may be difficult to apply for social or cultural reasons. And in schools, teachers and school directors sometimes have trouble finding the right solution. And we can understand them ... problems are sometimes complex.You want to react, to give your testimony or to ask a question? Appointment in our FORUMS Child or Psychology!
Read also :
> Ideas received about school failure
> School difficulties: what to do?
> Which psychotherapy to choose?